Thursday, September 30, 2010

What is life like for a child with Down syndrome?

Often, when people ask me "Do you have children?" or "How many kids do you have?" that usually ends up with me talking about my kids...which often leads to me mentioning that one of our twins has Down syndrome.   That bit of information usually results in an "Awhh"  from them.  Which really is their way of saying "too bad".  Can I tell you how much I HATE that!!!!! 
When I think of Braden and his life I never think "Awhh". 
Never.
Ever. 

People are always concerned with what kind of quality life could he have?  And I have to tell you --- he has the same quality of life that each of my other kids have!  He lives in the same home, goes to the same places, eats the same food, has the same pets.  I know what they mean... is it so hard to live with this condition that they would never want to live a life like that.  Like it would be a life not worth living. 

But I think your quality of life doesn't boil down to what you know or what career you have.  What you own or the number of zeros in your bank account.


I think it is about how you feel each day as you lay your head down to sleep at night.  I think it is about what made you smile that day.  Who loved you and who did you love.  It's about ice cream and rainbows.  Swimming and swing sets.  Having some one to kiss your boo boos. I think it's about sledding and hot chocolate.  Campfires and s'mores.  I think it is about snuggling under blankets and watching your favorite movie.  I think it's about throwing snowballs and eating snow. 

I think it is about


being nutured


and belonging to a family



about being adored



and celebrated




It's about feeling the salty sea breeze



and splashing in water til your soaking wet



It's about enjoying your favorite foods



and cheering for your favorite team


It's about special outings to the zoo


and building sand castles



It's about dressing up in cheesy, homemade Halloween costumes


and reading a good book


It's about driving your truck in the sandbox


and saying your prayers


It's about slides


and brothers


and rock climbing


and holding a newborn



It's about having trick candles on your birthday cake



and having best friends



So, I say there is no "Awh" here.  Nothing to be pitied or felt sorry for.
 
What is life like for a child with Down syndrome?
Take a look at his face.

Take a look and see.

I see happiness.
and love.
and fun.
I see a life definately worth living!

Monday, September 13, 2010

My Heart

Hello?

New teacher, or therapist, or doctor? Is that you?

Oh hello…

I just wanted to chat with you a second. To caution you. Or warn you.

Please, tread carefully.


You see, what you might not realize as you look at me, talk to me, tell me your opinions, our options, our lack of options, and your predictions of our outcomes is that; well… you see that heart?


The slightly broken, definitely bruised one?






Yeah, that’s my heart.



My slightly-broken, definitely-bruised heart.



Now, I realize that as you look at me you might see…a confident parent… or an angry parent…or a happy-go-lucky parent…



You might think that I understand everything… or nothing…… or that I have all the experience in the world because I have done this before… or that I know the rules… or that I don’t know the rules and that is for the best….



You might believe… that I am high maintenance… or overreacting… or maybe neurotic… or disengaged and uninterested… or that I don’t really care… or maybe I care too much…



But regardless of what you see, what you think, or what you believe, this is what you should know:



I am broken-hearted. And it doesn’t matter if it is the first day or a century later. It doesn’t matter where in the “grief cycle” I might be. It doesn’t matter if the wounds are healed, or healing, or fresh and new. This heart is bruised. Slightly broken. Different than it once was and will ever be again. And when you speak, or don’t speak, in judgment or not, my heart is out there.



Some of “us” parents… the ‘special’ ones… can be a pain in the ass. I know that. WE know that. But we are fighting a fight we never planned to fight, and it doesn’t end. We don’t get to clock out at the end of the day. We don’t get a vacation from it. We live it, everyday. We are fighting without knowing how to fight it, and we depend so much on you to help us. We have been disappointed, by you or others like you. And we are disappointed in ourselves. We are your harshest critics. We are our own harshest critics too. We are genuinely fearful, and driven, and absolutely devoted. And we also know, we need you. So please, be careful with us. Because as hard and tough as we may look outwardly, our hearts are fragile things.



copied from: 
http://www.thecrackandthelight.com/2010/08/open-letter-to-all-professionals.html?spref=fb

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Big Kids head back to school!

I'm not sure how I feel about my house quieting down?!  It's great to be able to have Greyson all to myself and he is able to have my undivided attention.  But I'm gonna miss the mess.  and the wrestling.  and the big afternoon pool parties.  and jammy days.  and half done projects sitting all over the table.  and bikes thrown in the yard.  Oh we still have the weekends, I know.  But I love the summer with all my kids home everyday!  However, it is that time of year and so off they went - with their new tennys, lunchbags and backpacks - back to school!

Allie starting her sophmore year - yikes - how is that possible?!




Cameron, Braden and Grant obliging their mama with some picture taking!


Braden starting 3rd grade!


Grant also starting 3rd grade (and waiting on the bus)!


Cameron starting 5th grade!


What a crew!



Here comes the bus!


Off they go!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The "R" Word




People Who 'ARE'

By: Dave Hingsburger

It's in the press again. I search to find out the context of the word. I see debates all over the web, people bemoaning the 'politically correct' and the 'word police' and making ridiculous claims about having to ban the concept of a 'fire retardant'. Last I looked there's never been a protest about products that protect from fire. Last I looked there's only ever been protests about the use of a word that demeans a group of people.

No matter what the fearless defenders of freedom of speech say, there is a huge difference between a word to describe something that slows fire and someone who learns differently. There's a huge difference between a thing and a person - but, no, maybe not. After reading their diatribes regarding their freedom to spit out hurtful words, they may, really, not see people with disabilities as fully human with a human heart capable human hurt.


People mock the concept of respectful language regarding disability. People make odd arguments about the latest gaffe by ... no, I won't say her name here ... they say 'she was saying that of herself not anyone else' - um, so? The word she used was one referring, not to a commercial product, but to an oppressed minority. Yet the debate rages on and the fierceness of the attack by those who are proponents of the use of hate language are both hysterical and who often purposely miss the point. One wonders what's at stake - their personal liberty to hurt others?


It's time to recognize that the 'R' word is an attack against who people with with intellectual disabilities 'are', it is an attack against the group that they belong to. It is like other words that exist to slur an entire people, unacceptable. The fact that people do not see the seriousness of the word and the attack it represents is simply a result of the fact that they do not take the 'people' who wear that label seriously. The concerns of those with intellectual disabilities have always been diminished and trivialized. There is a sneaking suspicion that they 'don't understand, poor dears', that they 'miss the point, little lambs' so therefore their anger need not be feared as justified.
The people who 'ARE' what the 'R' word refers to have a long history.

They have been torn from families and cast into institutions.

They have been beaten, hosed down, over medicated, under nourished, sterilized, brutalized, victimized.


They have been held captive, have been enslaved, have had their being given over to the state.

They are the group in society most likely to be physically, sexually and financially abused.

They are the group least likely to see justice, experience fair play, receive accommodation or support within the justice system.

They are the group most likely to be bullied, most likely to be tyrannized, most likely to be the target of taunts.

They are the least likely to have their hurt taken seriously, physical hurt, emotional hurt, spiritual hurt.

They are most likely to be ignored when they speak of pain, have their words diminished by an assumption of diminished capacity.

They are the least likely to ever be seen as equal, as equivalent and entirely whole.

They are the victim of some of the most widespread and pervasive prejudices imaginable.

They are those that the Nazi's thought unworthy of life, they are those targeted by geneticists for non-existence, they need fear those who wear black hats and those who wear white coats.

They are educated only under protest, they are included as a concession rather than a right, they are neighbours only because petitions failed to keep them out.

That they are a 'people' is questioned even though they have a unique history, a unique voice, a unique perception of the world.

That they are a 'community' is questioned even though they have commonality, they have mutual goals, they have a collective vision of the future.

That they are have a legitimate place at the table is questioned simply because no one's ever offered a seat.

They ask for respect and receive pity.

They ask for fair play and are offered charity.

They ask to silence words that brutalize them and their concerns are trivialized.

They ask to walk safely through their communities and yet bullies go unpunished.

They ask to participate fully and they are denied access and accommodation and acceptance.

And this is NOW.

This is the people who have walked the land of the long corridor, who have waited at the frontier of our bias to finally be here, now. They have survived. They have come home. They have continued, silently and without fanfare, to take hold of freedom and live with dignity. They have given everything they have for what others take for granted. Their civil liberties are perceived as 'gifts' as 'tokens' and as 'charity'. Their rights are seen as privileges. Their movement is, as of yet, unacknowledged. They are a people recently emancipated, new citizens, who are tentatively discovering their voice.

It is a voice not yet heard.

It is a voice not yet respected.

It is a voice not yet understood.

But it is speaking.

And when it is finally heard. The world will change.

The 'R' word is an attack on a people who know discrimination. Tremble when you say it. Because those who should know better will be held accountable to those who know best.

Friday, August 13, 2010

A discovery!


Is there anything cuter




than a baby





finding their




BELLYBUTTON?!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Bottle Baby

One of my greatest pleasures in life is sitting down with my baby (even though he, at 14months, is entering the land of toddler time - when your the youngest of 5 you will always be the BABY) all snuggled up in his soft jammies, smelling fresh and ready for bed, and giving him his bottle. 




It's like the perfect break from everything that needs done. 
It's cuddle time.  Hand holding time.  Relaxed and sleepy time. 
Oh - I just love it. 




And even though he's been on all table food since 9 months and loves his sipper cups - I am having such a hard time packing up these bottles, donating them, or throwing them out.  It will be the end of an era. 
No more bottles in this house. 
But like I said... I'm not ready. 



So, bottle time in this house will
continue for a little while longer. 
And I'll love every single minute of it!
Photobucket